teetheyes | Entries tagged with radio show

So you want to play the gossip game?

A good quarter of you will get killed. You'll underestimate someone or something and find yourself without your head. But 99.9% of you will come back from the dead a day later. Half of you will figure out this is a great way to explore suicide-by-cop. A lot of you forget, once you die here you don't get to leave.

One third of you don't want to fucking leave anyway. You've found a place you can call home where you can do what you want when you want and without anyone to tell you otherwise. Scratch that, people here take advantage of free speech on a daily basis. They'll tell you what they think you should do. But you don't have to listen and hell, you could always kill them. Or fuck them.

If your worst enemy lives here, there's a 50/50 chance you will have fucked them at least once during your stay. There's a 70/30 chance you'll reach second base and kissing them is practically City tradition, whether they're male or female.

But only 10% of you are tried and true homosexuals. The majority of you are bisexual, and if you're not you can bet your ass the City will make you try it as some point.

Most of you won't leave this place a virgin but that's okay. The probability of you getting laid here is 5x the probability of you getting laid in your homeworld. It's a given. Seriously. Still none of you will admit you masturbate.

None of you will admit you elected Seras Victoria for her tits.

Today's Playlist:
"Somebody Told Me" The Killers
"I Kissed A Girl" Katy Perry
"A Man Inside My Mouth" The Cure
"Institutionalized" Suicidal Tendencies
"Back from the Dead" House of Pain

( Radio Notes )

Did you know behavior is the result of two different forces, one invariant and the other a finely textured elaboration? You interpret the latter as your freedom of choice, your ability to respond in an intelligent and judicious manner. You govern it by your perception of each circumstance and its conditions.

The biological direction in love and hate is the same. Hate's the attractive force of love, deflected or reflected. You the subject are drawn towards the object, but equally repelled, inhibited, or stopped. You the subject are caught in the destructive intent of hate. It's attraction, but the physical response turns what would otherwise be love, into hate. One biological direction pushes fear and anger. It's repulsion or retreat. After you take circumstance and judgment into account, what could be your fear could become your anger. Fear powers the physical approach of attack. If the only escape route's through danger, nature takes that direction with an angry tooth and nail.

Thought's the mental process that reserves judgment and resolves problems. Thought's hallmark is equitability. It's this problem resolving ability in you that determines your worth to humanity. Whether you sense emotion in others or yourself, it plays out on a stage of awareness. The procedure's virtually invisible, but you're aware that in thinking, something is taking place, even when you've reached a conundrum. Emotional displays provide a window over the process of your thought, if you care to read it, because the anatomy of emotion maps your thought.

You can see through that window and it presents you the challenge to recreate not just the likeness of your physical self but also the very intelligence that constitutes your inner essential nature. In art, the task isn't to carve a living figure; it's to carve a figure who expresses the capability of forming learned decisions and responses as you do, it's to carve a figure who behaves as you do.

Behavior and emotion is a river that follows a path governed by topographical circumstance. It sends a current in one direction then sends it in another. What've we learned from behavioral reversals and emotional extremes, where our biological directions push from one end of the spectrum to the other? Maybe it's an exercise in self-reflection. Maybe it's an exercise in choice. And for what?

You'd think this City was one big roleplaying game.

Today's Playlist:
"Human Behavior" Björk
"People Are People" Depeche Mode
"Girls and Boys" Blur
"Opposites Attract" Paula Abdul
"Angry Johnny" Poe

( Radio Notes )

Have you people tried Lost & Found?

Just keep the faith.

Today's Playlist:
"Shiny Happy People" R.E.M
"La Bamba" Ritchie Valens
"Beautiful Day" U2
"Wake Me Up Before You Go Go" Wham!
"Don't Worry, Be Happy" Bobby McFerrin
"Flashdance... What a Feeling" Irene Cara
"Don't Stop Me Now" Queen
"Feel Good Inc." Gorillaz
"Man, I feel like a Woman" Shania Twain
"Walking On Sunshine" Katrina & The Waves
"Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen)" Baz Luhrmann
"Steal My Sunshine" LEN
"Kokomo" Beach Boys
"You Raise Me Up" Josh Groban
"Footloose" Kenny Loggins

( Radio Notes )

There must be something about the orchestral quality of concert music that draws out the wartime comparisons. But let me give you the hard and dirty truth.

How do you know that you have a brass section at your door?
Nobody knows when to come in.

What do you call perfect pitch in an oboe?
In the dumpster, without hitting the side.

What's the similarity between a percussionist and a philosopher?
They both perceive time as an abstract concept.

You see a conductor and a violinist crossing the road. You can hit only one. Which do you hit?
The conductor; business before pleasure.

What do a singer and a terrorist have in common?
They both destroy the bridge.

( Visual Guide to the playlist for anyone born before 1939 )

Today's Playlist:
"I Shot the Sheriff" Bob Marley
"Where It's At" Beck
"Bullet with Butterfly Wings" Smashing Pumpkins
"Peaches" The Presidents of the United States of America
"Party Up (Up in Here)" DMX

( Radio Notes )

In the 17th century, 'professionals' in the upper echelon of privileged society described obsessions and compulsions as symptoms of religious melancholy. An Oxford Don reported a case in the Anatomy of Melancholy, c. 1621: "If he be in a silent auditory, as at a sermon, he is afraid he shall speak aloud and unaware, something indecent, unfit to be said."

In 1660, the Bishop of Down and Connor, Ireland, was referring to obsessive doubting when he wrote of scruples: "A scruple is trouble when the trouble is over, a doubt when doubts are resolved."

In his 1691 sermon on religious melancholy, the Bishop of Norwich, England, referred to individuals obsessed by "naughty, and sometimes Blasphemous Thoughts [which] start in their Minds, while they are exercised in the Worship of God [despite] all their endeavours to stifle and suppress them ... the more they struggle with them, the more they encrease."

Concepts evolved in the 19th century when faculty psychology, phrenology and mesmerism were popular theories. Intellectual currents coursing through philosophy, physiology, physics, chemistry and political thought influenced a psychiatrist struggling to understand. Obsessions, where insight was preserved, were distinguished from delusions, in which it wasn't. Compulsions were distinguished from impulsions, and that included forms of paroxysmal, stereotyped and irresistible behavior. Am I confusing you yet?

Influential psychiatrists disagreed about whether the source of it lay in disorders of the will, the emotions, or the intellect.

I wonder which one caused our Warden to resign. He doesn't have much to lose in two days, the cheater. But the rest of you better get your nominations ready, elections are coming up fast. Campaign season's in the air, and in a City where only half of the pool gives a flying fuck about ballots, your vote really does count.

Oh and, it's great to be back.

Today's Playlist:
"Psycho Killer" Talking Heads
"Obsession" Army of Lovers
"She Drives Me Crazy" Fine Young Cannibals
"Knock Three Times" Tony Orlando
"Vote or Die" Puff Daddy?

( Radio Notes )

Is it a prison break or a call for help? We're too quick to judge don't you think, the 'suspect' hasn't even been charged yet and we're already getting the pitch forks out. Whatever happened to innocent till proven guilty? I guess that's for our Wardenship to decide. Little girl lost and alone, come out wherever you are, there's at least one person willing to hear your side of the story.

If you've always wanted to meet your maker I guess today is your chance. Christ it sure as hell explains the proportion of Asians and pretty people in the City doesn't it? But they're collectors too; don't let any of them fool you.

And an obituary's in order:
Lady
Died in her teens, or that's how it looks.
First Class with a gun and a short skirt. Friend to many in the City, either by choice or circumstance.
Cause of death, well who the hell knows but she beat the twenty-four hour clock.
Congratulations.

[Cutting into the feed.]

Alive and well but down for the count? Who the fuck are you paying to do this research--

[Scrrrtch.]

We interrupt this concert to bring you breaking news:

Father Abel Nightroad is dead. Father Abel Nightroad remains dead. And we have killed him.

Today's Playlist:
One Nana, member of Blast, playing live from the Square

( Radio Notes )

Having trouble making ends meet?

Has your marital bliss fallen into disarray?

Is your significant other an amnesiac?

Cheating? Pregnant? Out?

Dear Anon is open for business... and he's going to break the ice himself.

I'm so sorry baby but it isn't mine. I'm sterile.

Today's Playlist:
"Girlfriend in a Coma" The Smiths
"Your Woman" Whitetown
"Ms. Jackson" Outkast
"Papa Don't Preach" Madonna
"No More Drama" Mary J. Blige
"Blue Pepper" Duke Ellington

Dedication:
"Shadows On The Sand" Glenn Miller, to Mister Smith from E. Defense

( Radio Notes )

No you press the… it's on?

[A little shuffling.]

Terrorism. What's the agenda, I failed to catch it when they forgot to spraypaint anarchy on the walls. You'd think--

[The microphone shakes.]

… You'd think they'd let us in on their demands, their worldview. We didn't even get a piece of work reflecting the social decay of society from them. Are you Wardens sure it was terrorism and not one big prank? The world moves on. We dismiss statutory rape on a technicality. We cock a brow at the static and--

[Scrrtch. Thunk. Roll roll. Scrrtch.]

We're all fucking animals under our skins that's all goodnight.

Durex. We've got you covered.

Wrong board. Hit the--

Today's Playlist:
"Wild Thing" The Troggs
"Love Cats" The Cure
"Hound Dog" Elvis
"Bad Fish" Sublime
"The Bad Touch" Bloodhound Gang

( Radio Notes )

Where I come from, this Monday's a national holiday to celebrate a man who had a dream. Fucking ironic isn't it? Now we're holding elections in a place where half the people don't even know his name or the nature of politics, but damn do they want all their rights secured. Irrelevant in any case. There's one pedophile doing time, a statutory rapist up for trial, an upcoming custody battle, and don't forget the Nazi Houdini and Toffana who pre-dated all of this. What goes around comes around full fucking circle.

[Sound of a bottle clinking against the microphone.]

So who's on the list?

Pissantly Charismatic
I'll Give You Rabies
Hard Hearted Hannah
Dragon Spooner
I Was Nominated?
Can I Drink Now?
Brother Braille
Spirit of the Blitz
PRECRIME: it works
Hillary, No Relation
03:25:59
Halliburton Energy Services
Lord of the Flies
Herr Führer

Come on, who used to snort cocaine? Who didn't define sexual relations? You've got less than a full day left to do a smear campaign you know.

[Sound of someone drinking.]

You sons of bitches don't have it so bad.

Today's Playlist:
"Killers" Ice-T
"God Save the Queen" Sex Pistols
"Gimme Shelter" The Rolling Stones
"Invisible Sun" The Police
"Send in the Clowns" Judy Collins
"Russian Roulette" Lords of the New Church
"Democracy" Killing Joke

( Radio Notes )

("LA CUMPARSITA" STARTS PLAYING, THEN QUICKLY FADES OUT)

ANNOUNCER TWO:
Ladies and gentlemen, we interrupt our program of dance music to bring you a special bulletin from the Intercontinental Radio News.

At twenty minutes before eight, central time, Professor Farrell of the Mount Jennings Observatory, Chicago, Illinois, reports observing several explosions of incandescent gas, occurring at regular intervals on the planet Mars. The spectroscope indicates the gas to be hydrogen and moving towards the earth with enormous velocity.

Professor Pierson of the Observatory at Princeton confirms Farrell's observation, and describes the phenomenon as, quote, "like a jet of blue flame shot from a gun," unquote.

We now return you to the music of Ramón Raquello, playing for you in the Meridian Room of the Park Plaza Hotel, situated in downtown New York.

---

All right, that was expected. I couldn't help coupling nazi propaganda with a little of what went on stateside. Funny story isn't it? H.G. Wells couldn't even begin to imagine how close to home he's hitting right now. If that parallel doesn't grab you, there's always this.

Run to the fucking shelters while you still can and get ready to start pumping canned foods into your diet. It's going to be an ugly fight.

Until then, I've got tunes for you on the chain gang.

Today's Playlist:
"Lili Marleen" Marlene Dietrich
"Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy" The Andrews Sisters
"That'll Be the Day" Buddy Holly
"Working In The Coal Mine" Lee Dorsey
"I Fought the Law" The Bobby Fuller Four
"Die Fahne Hoch" Horst Wessel
"Faust Overture" Richard Wagner

( Radio Notes )

One night, two friends decide to enter the forest in search of a Christmas tree. They’ve heard that these woods have the best trees in the entire land, and nothing would make them happier than to bring the perfect tree home. So they cross the dirt and stone path that separates the field from the forest, and there’s a single sign planted in the ground.

It reads: Trees Shall Not Be Cut Lest Ye Pay The Consequences

The men discuss whether to heed the warning or not, but they figure one tree won’t hurt and enter anyway. After a long walk, they wander into a clearing and find a 7ft tall blue-green fir just aching to be cut. They’re ecstatic and get their axes ready. Neither remembers the sign at the edge of the forest. A couple chops later and the tree comes crashing down. The friends are just about to celebrate when six shadows bleed out of the ground and loom over them.

“You broke the rules. Your time starts now,” the shadows say in unison before dispersing.

These guys have no fucking clue what’s going on, but they start to hear this tick. Just tick tick tick tick tick tick tick. They drop their axes and turn to run, abandoning the tree. Already the sun above them’s feeling a bit hotter. They pass a cave where monstrous reflections of themselves try to drag them in for dinner. They barely escape that when butterflies come swarming out to tear at their flesh. Just when they thought they were done for, a winter wind freezes the buggers. They think they’ve found a stroke of luck and keep running. Explosions happen left and right and they think it’s like fucking nazis or something. A voice from the night sky shrieks about raping them to sire a body. On top of that the snow’s almost knee high and it’s getting harder to run. One man trips over a log hiding in the drift, and you know as friends go one won’t leave the other behind. Tick tick tick.

That’s when they see a flash of black and blue along the path. Its shadow is as big as a house, so they start praying, hoping they’re worthy of God’s love. That’s when the creature jumps out from the woods and lands perfectly in the snow. It’s a cat, no bigger than a standard tabby. These two think it’s a false alarm, until the cat smiles at them. All of its teeth are yellow and razorwire sharp. It utters a low, hungry purr and stalks towards the men.

They’re shaking in their fucking boots, scared shitless now. And you know what happens?

Nothing. A little pussy never hurt anybody.

Today's Playlist:
"Move Bitch" Ludacris
"Sleep Now In the Fire" Rage Against the Machine
"The Heart’s Filthy Lesson" David Bowie
"Hey Man, Nice Shot" Filter
"Drown" Smashing Pumpkins

( Radio Notes )

Just when you thought crime was coming down after the invention of the Bat signal. Now we've got sibling rivalry to worry about and red rocks (not Colorado). Is there something about the Christmas season that brings out the extreme? You want to find the best gift possible for someone else, you crumble to tears when they don't reciprocate. You want to decorate a tree with twice the amount of electricity to power a whole building, a little girl weeps for the voiceless bark that can't express its pain. You want your fellow man to commit to a paradigm shift, you have to shoot him when he doesn't.

Yeah it's the season to be jolly, with spiders in your hair and death in the wings. At least the one eyed reaper committed an honest crime. Maybe he meant to emphasize those feelings of love and affection between friends. Maybe he's looking for suicide by cop, that's an epidemic around this City. [Sound of finger tapping.]

Does anyone think that antidote passed out during Zombie Fest of the Year had any side effects? You never know what happens when someone taps into the hormone therapy reserve. The space between that occurrence and the red rocks is just pure untimely coincidence. Right. I'll be damned if these aren't really curses and just one long running conspiracy. Or a joke with no punch line in sight.

And here's a public service announcement for all of you planning to enjoy a Christmas Dinner - When do cannibals leave the table? When everyone's eaten.

Today's Playlist:
"Paper Planes" M.I.A.
"Violent Pornography" System of a Down
"19th Nervous Breakdown" The Rolling Stones
"Harriet's Got a Song" Ben Kweller
"Timothy" The Buoys
"O Tannenbaum" Leipzig, 1824

( Radio Notes )

Congratulations, Duke, you'll never have prostate problems again.

Couture and cocaine aside, where the hell's the Bat Signal? It sounds like this City could use one about now. This Gotham, Metropolis, Star City could use a sense of order, that's irony right there. Is it some kind of fucking coincidence that the Clown Prince of Crime (suspicion, mine) strikes while everyone else is whipped up in a couture frenzy? Maybe that's where a few formerly poor designers suddenly got the money to create art. Last week's bank robbery comes to mind. Superheroes today are like whistle blowers, but in the City I'm not hearing even a peep.

To hell with that though, free food and wine before murder, right? I'm waiting for the next batch to come along and test their public notoriety, what little or lot they have at all. I'll make note of it.

Today's Playlist:
"Rosalita" Bruce Springsteen (for the winning team)
"Human Nature" Madonna
"Papa Don't Preach" Madonna
"Visions of Johanna" Bob Dylan
"Starry Eyed Surprise" Paul Oakenfold
"Satin Chic" Goldfrapp
"Skins" Scissor Sisters
"Shake Your Head" CC Catch
"Solar Plexus" BT

( Radio Notes )

If you're just tuning in, let me congratulate you on being one of the few people who can still operate a radio without help from an adult. [laugh] But don't count yourself lucky yet, you're only lucky if you didn't get hit. For others it's not an option, they were never young and they'll never get old. That's fun stuff there, living in limbo. I hear that immortality's not all it's cracked up to be. Ask your nearest mortal neighbor what's on the horizon after they've gone over the hill; death. Ask your nearest vampire and the only thing they can count on is boredom after death. That's a pretty shitty deal, because sageing while aging turns into a stale act after the first couple centuries.

Not that the rest of you ephemeral bastards have it any easier. Every now and then I see a kid who's got potential and he throws it away for shit that goes obsolete the next week. I guess in this dump we'd call it a soul [heh]. He's got everything but the world, it's his right to be unhappy [puff of smoke]. Everyone's too wrapped up in their own personal story to consider perspective. You'd think with a colorful population somebody'd give her a call.

Hey maybe that's what this curse is about. Unless you're a programmed machine, you do most of your learning in those early formative years. Do you think the City is trying to drop a hint? [pause] No, it's just fucking with you as usual, but you know the whole thing about lemons. Have some fun while you're at it, play hero to those kidnappings, play victim to the corruption of innocence. The network will feel the weight of your shame in the morning.

Today's Playlist:
"When You Were Young" The Killers
"Old Man" Neil Young
"Don't Stand So Close to Me" The Police
"When I Grow Up" Garbage
"Jeremy" Pearl Jam

( Radio Notes )

Profile

teetheyes

polychromatic

August 2010

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Page Summary

Episode 17: everybody does it
Episode 15: you is what you is
Episode 14: happiness in slavery
Episode 13: that was no piccolo, that was my fife
Episode 11: Habit is overcome by Habit
Episode 9: Feroush
Episode 8: True Lies
Episode 7: ???
Episode 6: Testify
Episode 5: Oct. 30, 1938
Episode 4: Mean Seasons
Episode 3: He Said She Said
Episode 2: Moisture is the Essence of Wetness
Episode 1: Sageing While Aging

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Style: Neutral Good for Practicality by timeasmymeasure

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well I live with Snakes and Lizards

and other things that go bump in the night

Entries tagged with radio show

Episode 17: everybody does it

Episode 15: you is what you is

Episode 14: happiness in slavery

Episode 13: that was no piccolo, that was my fife

Episode 11: Habit is overcome by Habit

Episode 9: Feroush

Episode 8: True Lies

Episode 7: ???

Episode 6: Testify

Episode 5: Oct. 30, 1938

Episode 4: Mean Seasons

Episode 3: He Said She Said

Episode 2: Moisture is the Essence of Wetness

Episode 1: Sageing While Aging