Episode 8: True Lies

[teetheyes]

Having trouble making ends meet?

Has your marital bliss fallen into disarray?

Is your significant other an amnesiac?

Cheating? Pregnant? Out?

Dear Anon is open for business... and he's going to break the ice himself.

I'm so sorry baby but it isn't mine. I'm sterile.

Today's Playlist:
"Girlfriend in a Coma" The Smiths
"Your Woman" Whitetown
"Ms. Jackson" Outkast
"Papa Don't Preach" Madonna
"No More Drama" Mary J. Blige
"Blue Pepper" Duke Ellington

Dedication:
"Shadows On The Sand" Glenn Miller, to Mister Smith from E. Defense

[ooc: Mod-approved! Songs are played between bits of dialogue. As far as the radio host is concerned, Cori's speaking anonymously and that applies to the written transcriptions on his LJ. It's just easier and more efficient to put them here instead of creating a 'ghost' account. So please consider Radio Entries as anonymous and any spam here will be answered by anonymous. Thanks guys ♥]

Comments

[venomouselle.livejournal.com]

This shit is being held onto...for a fee.

[bitingnightmare.livejournal.com]

WHAT.

[rewindingly.livejournal.com]

Dear Anon,

I... I love this man so much, but he loves another man. I wish only for his happiness! But his father would disown him if he refuses to marry me... I don't want him to live in the streets, but I don't want him to lead an unhappy life with me.

What should I do?

[bitingnightmare.livejournal.com]

That's easy. Kill his father.

[one-of-heaven.livejournal.com]

Dear Anon,

...I heet mon pimp! He iz so stupide! And his Choochoo is so zmall! And my brothe~er iz an idiot!

Oh, but to be a poor ge-rl in theze days!

Anon, cherie... do zhou need a meid?

[bitingnightmare.livejournal.com]

... Metaphorically or literally?

[one-that-leads.livejournal.com]

Yo bes' watch yo' mouf, bitch.

And, fo' tha record, Ah am whatchoo call pro~por~tion~ate, thank yew.

[viralexchange.livejournal.com]

A music request, if I may?

[bitingnightmare.livejournal.com]

What do you have in mind?

[luna-alchemy.livejournal.com]

Dear Anon?

[bitingnightmare.livejournal.com]

Any problems you might have, Anonymous is here to listen and advise.

[worthyofhislove.livejournal.com]

Dear Anonymous,

I have devoted my life to my religion. Recently I have fallen in love with a man. Just today I have learned that my beloved, who I had given my untouched body to, is not only still married but has a vengeful lover out to destroy us both. I have a lot to lose if my personal relationship is exposed. What do I do? Abandon the man I love to save face and be rid of my sin?

Sincerely,

One on a Wing and a Prayer

[bitingnightmare.livejournal.com]

Dear One on a Wing and a Prayer,

If God hires a contract killer then that's God's business.

//at the studio//

[playstheblues.livejournal.com]

//at the studio//

[playstheblues.livejournal.com]

//at the studio//

[playstheblues.livejournal.com]

THEN WHOSE IS IT?

[sketdanchou.livejournal.com]

Dear Anon,

My girlfriend is more GAR than I am. It may come from all the years of pretending to be~~~ but that's too specific right? Hmmmm keep it vague.

Also my family is insa~~~ Yeah that's general enough. My family is insane. I don't understand our family chart so now I have to ask women if we're related before I can get anything started. It's not exactly a sparkling conversation opener, you know?

I just want a nice and sane life with all the women in the world. Say, Anon, are you a woman? And not related to me?

[bitingnightmare.livejournal.com]

No, yes.

Have you ever tried valium?

[cat-contractor.livejournal.com]

Dear Anon,

My son is living a life of sin with his stepbrother. How can I get him to understand that he needs to settle down with a nice woman and accept Jesus into his life?

[bitingnightmare.livejournal.com]

That's easy. Kill his stepbrother.

[sister-samurai.livejournal.com]

Dear Anon,

My sister will go on a killing spree unless I give up the indentity of the man I cheated on her with, but I can't let her shoot our brother! What should I do?

Distressed,
Family Matters

[bitingnightmare.livejournal.com]

Dear Family Matters,

Have you considered converting to Mormonism?

[firestart-her.livejournal.com]

Dear Anon,

Is there a lottery?

S

[bitingnightmare.livejournal.com]

Dear S,

Please avoid getting stoned.

[hisplusone.livejournal.com]

Is it too late to put in a request? Dedication actually...

[bitingnightmare.livejournal.com]

It's never too late on a Sunday.