Episode 13: that was no piccolo, that was my fife

[teetheyes]

There must be something about the orchestral quality of concert music that draws out the wartime comparisons. But let me give you the hard and dirty truth.

How do you know that you have a brass section at your door?
Nobody knows when to come in.

What do you call perfect pitch in an oboe?
In the dumpster, without hitting the side.

What's the similarity between a percussionist and a philosopher?
They both perceive time as an abstract concept.

You see a conductor and a violinist crossing the road. You can hit only one. Which do you hit?
The conductor; business before pleasure.

What do a singer and a terrorist have in common?
They both destroy the bridge.

Visual Guide to the playlist for anyone born before 1939











Today's Playlist:
"I Shot the Sheriff" Bob Marley
"Where It's At" Beck
"Bullet with Butterfly Wings" Smashing Pumpkins
"Peaches" The Presidents of the United States of America
"Party Up (Up in Here)" DMX

[ooc: Mod-approved! Songs are played between bits of dialogue. As far as the radio host is concerned, Cori's speaking anonymously and that applies to the written transcriptions on his LJ. It's just easier and more efficient to put them here instead of creating a 'ghost' account. So please consider Radio Entries as anonymous and any spam (text or voice, up to you) here will be answered by anonymous. Thanks guys ♥]

Comments

[musicalcorpse.livejournal.com]

Sir, I'm not sure where to begin.

[bitingnightmare.livejournal.com]

Did you know Bach had fourteen or so children? They say there were no stops on his organ.

[musicalcorpse.livejournal.com]

...Humorous. However I can't help but think that there is something to be said for brevity.

[playstheblues.livejournal.com]

What about the trumpet?

1/3

[bitingnightmare.livejournal.com]

[bitingnightmare.livejournal.com]

[bitingnightmare.livejournal.com]

A jazz trumpeter was hired to do some solos with a symphony orchestra. Everything went fine through the first movement where he had some really hair-raising solos, but in the second movement he started improvising madly when he wasn't supposed to play at all.

After the concert, the conductor came round looking for an explanation. The trumpeter said, "I looked in the score and it said 'tacet'--so I took it!"

[playstheblues.livejournal.com]

[playstheblues.livejournal.com]

[playstheblues.livejournal.com]

[playstheblues.livejournal.com]

...ha. Ha.

[y-soy-rebelde.livejournal.com]

So you don't play anything recorded after 1999 or what? Or maybe you've just got a thing for 90's rock.

[bitingnightmare.livejournal.com]

Do you have a request?

[handsomejack.livejournal.com]

I like music. You just can't beat a good rhythm. I used to date a guitar player. He ended up just stringing me along. Definitely a bad pick. I'm not going to fret about it. I completely quit talking to him and cut the chord. I became friends with a drummer after that. He was the cymbal of a good man. I'm glad I was able to snare him as a friend.

The other night, I decided to waltz on down to a jazz club. They had a trio of trumpets playing. I thought to myself, "This music kind of blows". I began to feel a little horny. I was in the mood for some sax. I knew I was in treble. I decided it would be better to swing on out of there.

I went to the bar down the road. They started playing classical music. I wanted to leave, but there was no turning Bach now. I bought several rounds of drinks. The bartender kept harping me to buy more. I finally left before I went baroque.

[bitingnightmare.livejournal.com]

Well you know the top reason karaoke is better than sex. No one complains about a three minute performance.

Private;

[ohrosalita.livejournal.com]

Hey... Cori?

Private;

[bitingnightmare.livejournal.com]

Tell me you're contributing and not criticizing.

[i-themagician.livejournal.com]

You know, that "Peaches" song makes even less sense if you add this mysterious "poontang" substance into the mix.

[bitingnightmare.livejournal.com]

Are you for real?

[ooc: LOL Clow ;-;]

[valentineluke.livejournal.com]

Hmm.

[bitingnightmare.livejournal.com]

Cat got your tongue?

ooc

[monsterepellant.livejournal.com]

What do you call perfect pitch in an oboe?
In the dumpster, without hitting the side.


rofl xDDD Doumeki wouldn't comment on it, but ohgod, lolgraphs. I die. xD

ooc

[bitingnightmare.livejournal.com]

Hahaha I love music I respect musicians, but lulz needs must.

I'm a contralto-second soprano ;-;

[glock30.livejournal.com]

Your jokes could use a little work.

[bitingnightmare.livejournal.com]

My favorite critic.