teetheyes | Episode 4: Mean Seasons

One night, two friends decide to enter the forest in search of a Christmas tree. They’ve heard that these woods have the best trees in the entire land, and nothing would make them happier than to bring the perfect tree home. So they cross the dirt and stone path that separates the field from the forest, and there’s a single sign planted in the ground.

It reads: Trees Shall Not Be Cut Lest Ye Pay The Consequences

The men discuss whether to heed the warning or not, but they figure one tree won’t hurt and enter anyway. After a long walk, they wander into a clearing and find a 7ft tall blue-green fir just aching to be cut. They’re ecstatic and get their axes ready. Neither remembers the sign at the edge of the forest. A couple chops later and the tree comes crashing down. The friends are just about to celebrate when six shadows bleed out of the ground and loom over them.

“You broke the rules. Your time starts now,” the shadows say in unison before dispersing.

These guys have no fucking clue what’s going on, but they start to hear this tick. Just tick tick tick tick tick tick tick. They drop their axes and turn to run, abandoning the tree. Already the sun above them’s feeling a bit hotter. They pass a cave where monstrous reflections of themselves try to drag them in for dinner. They barely escape that when butterflies come swarming out to tear at their flesh. Just when they thought they were done for, a winter wind freezes the buggers. They think they’ve found a stroke of luck and keep running. Explosions happen left and right and they think it’s like fucking nazis or something. A voice from the night sky shrieks about raping them to sire a body. On top of that the snow’s almost knee high and it’s getting harder to run. One man trips over a log hiding in the drift, and you know as friends go one won’t leave the other behind. Tick tick tick.

That’s when they see a flash of black and blue along the path. Its shadow is as big as a house, so they start praying, hoping they’re worthy of God’s love. That’s when the creature jumps out from the woods and lands perfectly in the snow. It’s a cat, no bigger than a standard tabby. These two think it’s a false alarm, until the cat smiles at them. All of its teeth are yellow and razorwire sharp. It utters a low, hungry purr and stalks towards the men.

They’re shaking in their fucking boots, scared shitless now. And you know what happens?

Nothing. A little pussy never hurt anybody.

Today's Playlist:
"Move Bitch" Ludacris
"Sleep Now In the Fire" Rage Against the Machine
"The Heart’s Filthy Lesson" David Bowie
"Hey Man, Nice Shot" Filter
"Drown" Smashing Pumpkins

[ooc: Mod-approved! Songs are played between bits of dialogue. As far as the radio host is concerned, Cori's speaking anonymously and that applies to the written transcriptions on his LJ. It's just easier and more efficient to put them here instead of creating a 'ghost' account. So please consider Radio Entries as anonymous and any spam here will be answered by anonymous. Thanks guys ♥]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

valentineluke.livejournal.com

Amusing.

bitingnightmare.livejournal.com

And truth.

glock30.livejournal.com

Oh, no, the fight's out.

[ooc; Excellent.]

Don't make me put your lights out.

[ooc: Sheer poetry.]

Aren't you too busy guarding your grill?

The grill guards me, don't you know?

From what, exactly? Looking anything else other than tacky?

The rest of you on the outside. Just a flash sends you running.

Except for those of us who really like the shiny.

Does that include you?

I don't turn down anything that sparkles or shines.

Oh no no. You said tacky.

There's a difference between grill-tacky and acceptable-tacky.

Which one's going to keep you from getting the fuck out of my way?

Well at least now I know who you are, Ebenezer. Been visited by any ghosts yet?

I'm just a voice on the airwaves, that's as ghostly as it gets.

Sounds like you're a ghost with a grudge. You must've taken that grill comment really personally.

Come on, you hit a guy with the word tacky and you don't expect him to fight back?

Most men don't give a shit about that. Most men don't even know anything about being tacky.

So are you saying I'm a cut above the rest?

Let's not get ahead of ourselves.

Edited Date: 2007-12-24 02:33 am (UTC)

venomouselle.livejournal.com

Poor is the man that underestimates pussy.

Voice of experience?

I benefit from those who make that mistake.

Ooh battle tactics. Tell me more about your method.

Start gentle, like they expect and let the false sense of security set in. After that a full force clamp on your opponent to let them know who is boss.

And you're not worried I might copy this method myself?

You come onto a woman all meek and gentle like, she'll either think you're a virgin, vanilla or a fag.

Whatever gets her guard down right?

There is still suspicion. But I guess that goes for both sides.

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15	16	17	18	19	20	21
22	23	24	25	26	27	28
29	30	31

and other things that go bump in the night

Episode 4: Mean Seasons

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