(no subject)

[teetheyes]

I have a lot of groveling to do--a lot--and I rarely do that. So, congratulations.

But you're not here to enjoy it. I looked for you at Lee and Tony's and I looked for you at Rose's and I looked for you at home. Well I guess I deserve it and I'm sure everyone else agrees with you. I've been a total asshole to you and even now I admit I wouldn't be saying this if it weren't for that fucking curse. The truth is I'm afraid of you, and I'm not afraid of many things, more things are afraid of me even when they don't know I exist. My function is built on fear and I'm afraid one day you'll leave me and I won't be able to take it. I don't trust myself when I'm weak. You know there's a good reason for it and you know it first hand. I have appetites. I'm sorry it happened to you.

That's why I have a killswitch and I hate that I have a killswitch and I hate that I don't control whether I live or die. I want to control everything else. I want to know what future I can manipulate and the only way to do that is to repeat the same routine. When you don't depend on anyone else you don't have to take risks. I pick on Foster because he takes risks. I still think he's a naive little shit but he's a naive little shit who puts himself on the line, I hate that. I almost cheated on you when I promised I could be exclusive. I'm the shit here. I'm tired of being lectured but the fact of the matter is I don't listen. I miss Matthew because I listened to him.

I'm sorry you think I don't love you anymore. That's far from the truth and it's far from what I mean. I want to listen to you and I hope you'll give me another chance and listen to me too.

P.S. The rest of you cocksuckers can shut the fuck up about all the dick you've gargled. New Years Eve, 1999, Cthulhu.

Comments

[bitingnightmare.livejournal.com]

No. The three ladies killed him. The boss brought him back during the funeral, but Gilbert asked that he stay dead, so he granted that request. This is Gilbert's retirement plan.

1/2

[ohrosalita.livejournal.com]

Why would you tell me that?

[ohrosalita.livejournal.com]

That doesn't make sense. Why would anybody want to kill Gilbert?

[bitingnightmare.livejournal.com]

He was in the way, we all were. Me and only a few others survived. The point is, he had to ask to be released.

[ohrosalita.livejournal.com]

So why couldn't you, if there was a good reason for it? There are other nightmares, I've had them.

Why wouldn't--

[bitingnightmare.livejournal.com]

... At least I do take pride in being the best one for the job.

[ohrosalita.livejournal.com]

It's good to do something you enjoy.

[bitingnightmare.livejournal.com]

It has its perks and setbacks.

[ohrosalita.livejournal.com]

Like everything. Count how many humans get a choice whether they live or die and stop feeling so sorry for yourself.

[bitingnightmare.livejournal.com]

Don't get ahead of yourself, I never said I envy the rest of you.

[ohrosalita.livejournal.com]

Suck it up either way, maudlin doesn't suit you. And if you ever find a suicide cult you're really, really into then I'll talk to Daniel for you. Or I'll talk to uncle Ollie and he'll make himself hard to refuse.

[bitingnightmare.livejournal.com]

Do you want another secret, Rose?

[ohrosalita.livejournal.com]

Is another of my friends dead?

[bitingnightmare.livejournal.com]

No.

The Lord&Lady, your grandfather, said "I'm merely wondering if a Fable can truly love you, when you cannot give him what he wants, or needs. He's so handsome; perhaps he'll find someone to make him happy. Perhaps I'll touch him, first."

[ohrosalita.livejournal.com]

He said that.

And you listened to him.

[bitingnightmare.livejournal.com]

It was hard not to. I'm not placing blame here, I came to my fucking senses, but violating a few rules if it touches him at all is tempting.

[ohrosalita.livejournal.com]

Tempting and stupid and he said he hadn't...

Just don't, Cori. Blue's smarter than that, smarter than you it looks like. So don't worry.

[bitingnightmare.livejournal.com]

Okay.