(no subject)

[teetheyes]

I have a lot of groveling to do--a lot--and I rarely do that. So, congratulations.

But you're not here to enjoy it. I looked for you at Lee and Tony's and I looked for you at Rose's and I looked for you at home. Well I guess I deserve it and I'm sure everyone else agrees with you. I've been a total asshole to you and even now I admit I wouldn't be saying this if it weren't for that fucking curse. The truth is I'm afraid of you, and I'm not afraid of many things, more things are afraid of me even when they don't know I exist. My function is built on fear and I'm afraid one day you'll leave me and I won't be able to take it. I don't trust myself when I'm weak. You know there's a good reason for it and you know it first hand. I have appetites. I'm sorry it happened to you.

That's why I have a killswitch and I hate that I have a killswitch and I hate that I don't control whether I live or die. I want to control everything else. I want to know what future I can manipulate and the only way to do that is to repeat the same routine. When you don't depend on anyone else you don't have to take risks. I pick on Foster because he takes risks. I still think he's a naive little shit but he's a naive little shit who puts himself on the line, I hate that. I almost cheated on you when I promised I could be exclusive. I'm the shit here. I'm tired of being lectured but the fact of the matter is I don't listen. I miss Matthew because I listened to him.

I'm sorry you think I don't love you anymore. That's far from the truth and it's far from what I mean. I want to listen to you and I hope you'll give me another chance and listen to me too.

P.S. The rest of you cocksuckers can shut the fuck up about all the dick you've gargled. New Years Eve, 1999, Cthulhu.

Comments

[handsomejack.livejournal.com]

Go with the former, I promise to behave and we won't have the latter.

[bitingnightmare.livejournal.com]

Deal.

Any new revelations since you've been stranded here?

[handsomejack.livejournal.com]

Every waking hour brings a new revelation.

[bitingnightmare.livejournal.com]

I smell optimism.

[handsomejack.livejournal.com]

I'm always optimistic!

Keeps me from blowing my brains out repeatedly. Well that and having to pause to reload the gun, plus ammo is damn expensive, that's a deterrent as well.

[bitingnightmare.livejournal.com]

And blood's a bitch to get out of wool.

[handsomejack.livejournal.com]

It really is and then there's bits of brain and skull all over the place, after all a Webley Mark IV leaves a hell of an exit wound.

[bitingnightmare.livejournal.com]

I prefer sharp edges myself.

[Private//Unhackable]

[handsomejack.livejournal.com]

Had a few of those as well. Problem is if you miss or the opponent misses you end up with a slow bleed out and the slow deaths are the worst. They hurt like a bitch.

[Private//Unhackable]

[bitingnightmare.livejournal.com]

A slow bleed out's not an option for me. How many times have you died?

Re: [Private//Unhackable]

[handsomejack.livejournal.com]

Mmmm.... by now about 1220.

But I had a string of bad luck for about a year recently where I was in the hands of a sadistic individual who delighted in putting me through my paces. So to speak.

[ooc: I actually did an average based on his canon deaths ... because I'm a dork.]

[Private//Unhackable]

[bitingnightmare.livejournal.com]

You're a trooper, Jack.

[ooc: Wow... he's kind of like... a roach XD]

Re: [Private//Unhackable]

[handsomejack.livejournal.com]

What can I say, I try.

[ Seriously its a riot (http://www.bbcamerica.com/content/262/s2_captainsblog.jsp?bc_id=892) how it's been handled now in season 2!]

Re: [Private//Unhackable]

[bitingnightmare.livejournal.com]

How do you still find work?

[ooc: LOL and duct tape wtf.]

Re: [Private//Unhackable]

[handsomejack.livejournal.com]

Actually, in my line of work, it's always come in damn handy.

Re: [Private//Unhackable]

[bitingnightmare.livejournal.com]

Sounds dangerous.

Re: [Private//Unhackable]

[handsomejack.livejournal.com]

Well, depending upon who you ask, I'm either the heroic type or an idiot.

...

Personally I suppose those two aren't mutually exclusive.

I could say any number of things here Cori but they'd all sound horrifically pretentious and I'm trying to cut back. Let's just say I've seen what's out there and made a choice to be on the front lines.

Re: [Private//Unhackable]

[bitingnightmare.livejournal.com]

So you're some kind of cop, I get it.

That's okay the feeling's mutual; I'm a nightmare.

Re: [Private//Unhackable]

[handsomejack.livejournal.com]

Actually, I've been many things but never a cop. In fact my association with the idea of 'laws' might be considered tenuous ... at best.

...

A pardon?

Re: [Private//Unhackable]

[bitingnightmare.livejournal.com]

That just makes you a rebel cop.

A nightmare, the bogeyman, clown under the bed.

Re: [Private//Unhackable]

[handsomejack.livejournal.com]

Mmmm, think I like the term 'Captain' better.

Am I asleep? Because that's usually when nightmares show up.

Re: [Private//Unhackable]

[bitingnightmare.livejournal.com]

Captain Jack has a better ring to it, but don't ever take up Keith Richards impersonations.

No, you aren't. I'm just corporeal.

Re: [Private//Unhackable]

[handsomejack.livejournal.com]

Only on full moons.

[There is a bit of a pause before the text continues]

Well ... hope you got bonus points for me, because I'm sure I keep you in business.

Re: [Private//Unhackable]

[bitingnightmare.livejournal.com]

I don't profit from it, it's my function. I keep that shit separate from everything else anyway... most of the time.

Re: [Private//Unhackable]

[handsomejack.livejournal.com]

Well, there's a reason I don't sleep, so I guess we're good.