(no subject)

[teetheyes]

Back in 1999 the boss had another one of his millennia parties on New Year’s Eve. While the rest of the waking world was raving about doomsday and Y2K I was rubbing elbows with some of the most stuck up prats I’d ever seen. Once every thousand years you know, I had to be there to represent the court no matter how much I fucking hate those parties. I was nursing my booze waiting for the cosmic ball to drop.



Yeah I know what you’re going to say. He’s a winged green hog on duck feet with squid pouring out his beak. Let me tell you, the Great Cthulhu cleans up fucking nice for special occasions. I can overlook the scaly skin for his eight-pack. Christ, what do you say to a guy like that? I said I liked his dreads, I liked his fucking dreads. A few drinks later, make that a lot of drinks later, I figured he took it as a compliment cause next thing I know he’s going down on my stone house in one of the castle chambers. Got to repay the favor you know?

I have to admit the Great Old One isn’t as big as you’d expect, it’s the tentacles that do all the work. He went to fucking town with those things. We were at it for a couple hours trying to calculate the various permutations you can get with eight plugs and six sockets. Yes, you heard me right. Under all the clawing and groaning and “Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn” I was having the time of my fucking life. Eventually the New Year came and so did we. We repainted half a black room in egg shell white. I shared a cigarette with him, he talked about the shrewd business of running a myth-cycle, and that was that. Off to the citadel with me, off to the starry netherworld with him to do whatever the fuck old gods do. I don’t regret it, I never planned for a second bang, I’m pretty sure the feeling was mutual. Still, it was some of the best sex I’ve ever experienced.

Take this anecdote, multiply it by about ten, and that’s how great of a fuck I had with John last night. I’m sore just trying to write this sitting down. Yes I know, he doesn’t have tentacles, on the other hand he’s pretty damn big. There’s also a new crack in the wall, go figure.

[ooc: worksafe images, short but sordid story behind the cut]

Comments

[tasteofgrief.livejournal.com]

Tentacles ... such useful appendages.

[bitingnightmare.livejournal.com]

They're fun but messy if they're the type to ejaculate.

[tasteofgrief.livejournal.com]

Yes. I suppose so.

[bitingnightmare.livejournal.com]

Can't just magic the mess away, I don't have that kind of power.

[tasteofgrief.livejournal.com]

I'm certain you're able to find a way to cope.

[bitingnightmare.livejournal.com]

Yeah, a shower or a good man who'll lick it off. I've got both on hand these days.

[tasteofgrief.livejournal.com]

Then you are fortunate in your circumstances.

[bitingnightmare.livejournal.com]

You sound surprised. Still getting used to this godly-being-brought-down-to-the-human-plane business?

[tasteofgrief.livejournal.com]

It is most unpleasant.

[bitingnightmare.livejournal.com]

I guess not all of us can adapt.

[tasteofgrief.livejournal.com]

Adaptation is a new experience for me. It was unheard of for one in my position to show weakness through compromise.

[bitingnightmare.livejournal.com]

But the intelligent know to infiltrate from the inside.

[tasteofgrief.livejournal.com]

I am beginning to appreciate the merits of that strategy, but it is still strange to me.

[bitingnightmare.livejournal.com]

At least Greed's helping you out.

[tasteofgrief.livejournal.com]

His assistance is most appreciated. As is yours, though it is of a different nature.

[bitingnightmare.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I don't fancy women.

[tasteofgrief.livejournal.com]

Obviously.

[OOC: Illyria is amused.]

[bitingnightmare.livejournal.com]

Old news, but I have to cover my bases before I break someone's heart.

[glock30.livejournal.com]

Now this explains everything.

[bitingnightmare.livejournal.com]

I had to know if rastafarians like it rough.

[ooc: bwahahaha ♥]

[glock30.livejournal.com]

Because your curiosity is just that insatiable? I don't even want to imagine what him coming was like. A freight train?

[bitingnightmare.livejournal.com]

I could say the same for you, pretty lady.

Honestly, it was like going through a car wash.

[ooc: the mental images, they assault mercilessly!]

[glock30.livejournal.com]

Curiosity killed the cat, don't you think?

That's disgusting.

[bitingnightmare.livejournal.com]

I don't know from what I can see the kitty's alive and kicking.

Once in a lifetime and all that.

[ooc: I'm sorry @D@ Cori is not]

[glock30.livejournal.com]

And yelping. Loudly. All the goddamn time.

Had to do what you had to do sort of thing?

[bitingnightmare.livejournal.com]

I was curious.

Didn't you ever wonder about alien types while flying through the solar system?

[glock30.livejournal.com]

It's a healthy characteristic.

...Can't say that I did. I was preoccupied.

[bitingnightmare.livejournal.com]

Well, when you have mouths for eyes it kind of opens you up to other experiences.

[kittyjones.livejournal.com]

((ooc: Just had to say... Cthulhu? You win at life. I'm never going to read Lovecraft the same again. ♥))

[bitingnightmare.livejournal.com]

[ooc: thank you... thank you ♥]

[proudbutterfly.livejournal.com]

Unusual sex~ ♥

You know this reminds me to Beelzebub's giant fly form "mouth". It's very appealing if you don't mind the buzzing.

[bitingnightmare.livejournal.com]

I know of the old buzzer, never had the pleasure though.

[proudbutterfly.livejournal.com]

He has an angel form, fair, thin, silky black hair with dark wings. But he likes his fly one as one enjoys the butterfly one (oh, one thinks we had sex once in those forms, most interesting experience). Two words about his buzzing "mouth."

UnHoly Vibrator.

[bitingnightmare.livejournal.com]

No wonder he always has a large delegation.

[draculinaseras.livejournal.com]

...!

[bitingnightmare.livejournal.com]

Questions?