teetheyes | (no subject)

I've been sitting here with my cigarettes and the clopwalker, thinking about how I royally fucked up. For all I know the shitstorm's already started, funny it should happen this close to Halloween. I've been feeling a little ill too, maybe it's fucking karma.

I slipped. I got too comfortable here. I lost my eye to the city and I'm still too fucking proud to ask him to fix it. Now I've gone and endangered someone who could decimate me with one look but could crumble himself with one smile. I don't even try to understand how it could have happened, I just know it did and part of it is my fault. Yes, I lost sense of responsibility for a slice of the waking world. I shed my shadow knowing doing so here isn't breaking the rules as it is in our reality, our waking world. I gave my loyalty to someone who may not even want it because that's the risk mortals take. But I'm not mortal, I'm not human, and I never will be.

I'm not going to lie and say I don't have a selfish stake in this, I want to be able to say that at least I knew you as a good friend. Phantoms don't go down without one hell of a fight either. If I'm uncreated, due to death or disappointing my Lord, I'm going to take Her hand and ask her how's Gilbert been doing.