(no subject)

[teetheyes]

Don’t listen… I remember. I’m an ugly place.

Between 1920 to 1990 I left a trail of bodies starting with Venice. In 1986 I filled five graves with five boys; Jonathan Howard Thayer was 17, Reed A. Casey Jr. was 15, Gabriel Ashe was 15, I forget the rest. I killed a man at Carnivale 1920, then I killed her, then Constantine killed me. I let Constantine live. I fell in love with The War. I killed two boys in Birmingham, Alabama, that’s when I learned shibari. It was 1990. I bled Davy in the bathtub into Amarillo’s drains while drinking dry wine. I joined the Nazi Party in 1934 and became a member of the SS. I gave 452909756 an injection of petrol to the heart. Gabriel Ashe survived. I met him again in 1997 and put him to sleep. I had HIV for months and Still. Kept. Fucking. A truck took Jacob’s head while I polished him off in his father’s 1964 Mustang. That wasn’t my fault. I met John in 1973, I didn’t kill him because of Charles. He could kill me. That bullet Matthew took was meant for me.

I could say more… I need to throw up.

I cry in my sleep.

Comments

[bitingnightmare.livejournal.com]

I can't do it, Faye.

[glock30.livejournal.com]

Sure you can. Finger down your throat and into the bucket. I'll even hold your glasses.

[bitingnightmare.livejournal.com]

I tried and only the words and memories come out. They aren't my memories born from my experiences but they're mine. Fuck me sideways.

[glock30.livejournal.com]

Even if they suck and they're horrible, at least they're part of you and you have them. You might not want them, but... they belong to you, you know?

I'm not making any sense, am I?

[bitingnightmare.livejournal.com]

I don't know, I don't want to know them, I don't care to know them but they come. Christ I'm just spouting bullshit over a fucking curse.

[glock30.livejournal.com]

Aren't we all? It's not like you're in the damn boat by yourself, Cori.

Is there a way to... get rid of them? Hit yourself in the head really hard? Or... Dorian's a little extreme.

[bitingnightmare.livejournal.com]

You show me one other person who remembers how he raped and killed a 13 year old boy in Harlem by wrapping his bare hands around his neck all because you noticed the way the rain trickled down the gutter like that night and--fuck I'm doing it again! Fuck fuck fuck I need to gag myself and staple my fingers together.

No there isn't, short of getting myself unmade.

[glock30.livejournal.com]

Well sorry. I can't. I'm just trying to help, you know.

[bitingnightmare.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry too. I really enjoyed baking with you, I like kids.

[glock30.livejournal.com]

Don't get all wishy-washy on me. Besides, I'm a horrible cook now.

For what it's worth, I--

I'm... sorry you have to see those things. The guy I know, though, well... you're a completely different person. I mean, I let you pass out on my couch. You can't be that bad.

[bitingnightmare.livejournal.com]

No it's true, I like kids. I like seeing you and John and everyone else younger. I lied to you when I said I was 2,000 whatever the fuck years old, well it's sort of a lie. The boss rebuilt me only 12 years ago.

Thanks.

[glock30.livejournal.com]

What difference does age make anyway? It's just a number. I lied when I said I was 23. I'm 77. Well... sort of.

[bitingnightmare.livejournal.com]

I'd ask how that happened, if it were appropriate.

[glock30.livejournal.com]

It's not like I can stop myself from telling you today, though.

It was an accident. It's in the past.

[bitingnightmare.livejournal.com]

It's why you don't like being reminded of your youth.

((ooc: if Faye's had nightmares about it Cori might know ;-;))

[glock30.livejournal.com]

Or lack thereof. Now that I remember, I think I was better off not remembering.

[bitingnightmare.livejournal.com]

Sorry.

[glock30.livejournal.com]

Unless you put me in there, it's not like you have anything to apologize for.

[bitingnightmare.livejournal.com]

I know, but I'd help to make you dream of it less if I could.

[glock30.livejournal.com]

I--oh. It's not so bad anymore. Just kind of... suffocating, ya know?

That's... thanks.

[bitingnightmare.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I know what you mean.